People sometimes ask me why I left political activism, and occasionally I'm asked how I became involved in politics in the first place. I remember the beginning, and anyone who knew me well was very confused about my sudden interest in something that I had very vocally despised for most of my life. I grew up around parents who were interested in politics around election time, but otherwise not in any way involved. My dad, a registered republican, is right leaning but not so much that he didn't like Bill Clinton. My dad identified with Bill as a "down home country boy" and I can remember thinking that it was incredibly silly to take personal lifestyles into account when voting for someone in a political office. I don't remember ever knowing exactly who my parents would vote for, but I do remember knowing that I would have voted for Ross Perot and Barry Goldwater had I been old enough. I thought I was probably a Democrat, because I was anti-war, and sensitive to the needs of the impoverished. I had no idea there was an actual label for my very specific political ideology until becoming involved in politics. Libertarian actually encompasses a broad spectrum of beliefs. I only spent a few weeks identifying as a Libertarian when I learned that I was in fact a voluntaryist. Most people have never even heard of that term, and many of those who have think it has something to do with volunteering. I'm a big fan of volunteering, but it's a completely different reference.
In 2004 I knew very little of POTUS seat options beyond the two party system. I was more than certain that I wasn't going to vote for Bush, and knew little about Al Gore, but found him to be annoying in his demeanor. Had I known then that there were other options, I'd have likely paid more attention to Peroutka, and almost certainly would have voted for Nader. In 2006 I had learned a great deal more about politics than ever before, due to my in laws being extremely knowledgeable and aware of the political arena. I still wasn't interested enough to be involved, but saw a concerning trend that I had never before been aware of in regards to society in general. My boyfriend was watching the GOP debate on TV and told me to come check out this Congressman who was in the debate, and said "You have to hear how good they're getting at saying exactly what we want to hear." I listened for a bit and kind of laughed a little at how awesome he sounded, but just knew that there was no way he could be authentic. NO politician was honestly that in tune with what was actually happening, and had the integrity to follow through on such promises, right? I did go immediately to the computer and Googled the Congressman. Ron Paul. I laughed because Joel Hodgson said to "Never trust a man with two first names..." when I was a kid watching Mystery Science Theater 3000. The very first thing I came across was a video called "What we choose to ignore" and it scared the ever living shit out of me. I became obsessed with proving the things in this video wrong, and the more I researched, the worse I felt. I wrote a blog then about my research, which can be found here: "Save your country, pass it on"
Within days I had joined a local meetup group which consisted of only two other people and the following weekend was our first meeting. We determined that the best way to progress forward was to move from the small town the group leader was from, to Tulsa, a much bigger city with the opportunity to expand exponentially. It was a good decision and within a month we had increased our membership by almost 100 people. We spent several months having group meetings, making tons of signs and banners and gathering in groups to stand on the side of busy roads to hold up signs that simply said "Google Ron Paul". During these few months, the more research I did, the more passionate I was about actually doing something about the downfall of society, and I put all of my energy into coming up with new ways to fix things. That's what I do. I'm a "fixer". I am drawn to broken things, and broken people, and I find that it's simply engrained into my personality and not something I can really control. My involvement in politics was no different. I found this candidate that was not only aware of what it would take to fix things, but had been fighting for over 30 years to fix things, and I really thought that he would motivate American people to stand up for what's right, if we could just get him some exposure. That was the goal in the beginning. Just getting his name out there was so damn difficult. People had never heard of him. They were like me back in 02 when I had no idea there was anyone else running except the two top guys in each party. That's what the media does. They focus on the top tier candidates and laugh at all the others to ensure that they don't have a chance in hell of winning.
I got a phone call one night from someone who I had encountered online, that was a fellow supporter and asked me if I'd heard of "Operation: Live Free or Die" and explained that a Google employee from Washington State was trying to start a movement to get supporters from all over the country to move temporarily to New Hampshire and campaign there for Ron Paul because it was the first and most important Primary state. I told her that it was very cool he was doing that, and how awesome it would be to be able to get involved. But I was a mother. I had a job. How on earth could I consider something like that? I jokingly said to my boyfriend "Hey you wanna pack up and move to New Hampshire for Ron Paul" to which he only half jokingly responded "Let's do it". I was suddenly thrown into this whirlwind of activity that had us selling all our things, and making arrangements to drive across the country to a state I had never been, and knew no one. It happened so fast, it almost seemed like a dream at the time. I'm still to this day amazed that this even happened at all, nevertheless the manner in which it all went down. I kept a blog the entire time which you can read here There was also several articles written about us, some of which I will link here and this one in particular is mostly about me.
I wouldn't take back going to NH, but there were dozens of reasons why the NH primaries were the beginning of the end of my activism. While working the polls, I witnessed droves of complete idiots who had no clue about why they were voting for their candidate. No one could tell you why they supported one candidate or another. Most were young kids who were only excited about voting for the first time and wanted to vote for the first black president. I actually witnessed a man 'eeny-meenie-miney-moe' his vote. I went home broken hearted. I learned that it's mostly pointless. I learned that the popular vote means nothing in regard to who is actually elected. I became a delegate for the Missouri GOP and attended the caucus. I learned that politics is a dirty, dirty game.
We moved back to Missouri from traveling and then I got a job in Arkansas, and got married, and became pregnant with my first son. There were some early complications and my doctor told me to cut out any source of stress I could. Political stuff was a major stress factor and so I made the decision then that I couldn't be involved anymore, or at least not like I had been. I couldn't invest my heart and soul into it anymore, and became an "armchair activist". Slowly over the years I paid less and less attention, had two more babies and no longer had the time, motivation, or desire to even watch a debate. I quietly keep up with what's happening now, but try not to think about it or talk about it much. It's all very disheartening, and I see people repeating the same things I saw then. I see the media doing the same thing to the small handful of decent candidates. I see a complete circus, and I have zero desire to watch the monkeys.
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